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After delivery of the Look Book, Voldemort called me up to make sure I was fully satisfied.  It felt good to be solicited by the CEO of an up-and-coming multimedia organization, even if he might be an incarnation of the Dark Lord.  At the time he was just a friendly voice on the phone offering advice on breaking into Hollywood. I’d invested $10,000 in Voldemort’s services, but had never met him in person.

Voldemort liked my script and especially liked that I possessed much of the money to make the movie. Most writers don’t have any money.  I did.  I don’t know exactly what he was thinking, but if I had to guess, it was something like: “This guy’s got the dough, he doesn’t know what he’s doing, and I can give myself a big fat piece of the action.”  But please note, dear reader, that I am not a mind-reader, so that is just a guess.

Needless to say, after buttering me up, Voldemort made a surprise offer.  He would findgod_helmet_image_post a production partner with the rest of the money and we would make the movie as a Voldemort Original.

The phone went dead for a long moment of silence while that sank in.  My breath stopped and a tingly joy spread from my gut throughout my body and filled the room. After slaving away privately for five years, I had finally gotten the recognition and the connections to move the project forward. We’re going to make a movie!  We’re going to make my movie!

V said he would write up an agreement for me to put The God Helmet on the fast track.  My dream was materializing quickly. I started mentally rehearsing my acceptance speech for the Academy Awards.  Voldemort was a scruffy sheister but he was da Man who was gonna bring home my $20 million dollar baby.  And I was lucky, too.  Might i have been too judgemental, perhaps? Voldemort could be a sheep in wolf’s clothing!  Sure, he’s got to make some money, who doesn’t? Business is business, but here’s a guy who recognizes talent!

When I resumed breathing again I fluttered “Write it up”, and Voldemort promised to consult with his sharp-penciled elf to scratch out an “Original” offer.